Saturday, January 23, 2010

An Unexpected Vision

*** I had started on this post yesterday. I guess under my self induced Nyquil coma I had hit the wrong button last night and it didn't publish after all. I will just pick up where I left off...

I don't know why, but today the site of the tree is depressing me. In fact, everything is depressing me. In all honesty the past few days have hung like a dark cloak. I can't shake the gloominess. I don't know what it is. I know that it is not like me to feel so down and that in itself is making it worse because I keep telling myself I shouldn't be feeling this way. Shake out of it!!! I turn to look at the tree once more from where I sit in my office. It strikes me as sad. The hanging masks steer back with lifeless eyes as if even the tree senses something is wrong. Perhaps it is feeling the sadness of the world. I am lost in thought when the sound of a new email in my inbox catches my attention. It is from a dear friend whom I don't get to speak with very often which makes it a pleasant surprise. I am somewhat relieved to read that she too is struggling over some of life's bigger questions. Not that I wish to see her miserable, but it lets me know that we all go through it. We write a few lines back and forth and before long we are sharing laughter over the miles that separate us. I mention how I woke to another thrown up fur ball from my cat on the carpet. I confess that I read through all the posts on Facebook and it irritates me to see how many people are so darned happy. I ask...do you think they really are...can it be??? Don't any of these people wake up to cat throw up I ask? She laughs. She understands. I decide it's time to just step away from the computer for the day. As I do, the sun decides to make an appearance for the first time all day just in time for it to set. It casts a beautiful glow in to my dining room and illuminates the tree in such a magnificent way that it appears to be enjoying some kind of celebration. I once again get lost in the vision of it only now I am warmed and renewed by its jubilation.

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